I write, in the name of my beloved
The one who I found on an open knoll
Whose attention caused dire consequences
Reigniting asleep flames of my soul
I speak of what saves, yet has destroyed me
I speak of my unparalleled devotion
I speak of the sole purpose of this life
I speak of a misunderstood notion
I have much recognized your decision
And hold it in deference to my rue
You pursue the unrequited for one
And I pursue the unrequited for you
Lest you become weary along the way
Just know that I will forever seek you
So I make a promise to be your home;
Vow, to which I shall ever remain true
Ever since I became a proponent,
I have but lost my only argument
There is something new I now long for
A desire, however, impertinent
To ask you, if my efforts weren’t enough?
Or was my love overwhelming for you?
Or was I erroneous to stare with my soul?
Or was it darkness I bore that scared you?
But the answers to these will be futile
As I’d have to forget you, regardless
I’ve adjourned a case in your name ere
And I close another to end this mess
My love for you enriches day by day
It is but a truth of this life, and thus;
Sadly, we love the people the most,
Especially when they do not want us
Why does the inner-self feel sated?
Why is there no void anymore?
The ambivalence is untangled,
I have no time for love anymore
The work has won all my attention
Even when it costs me happiness
Life can either be happy or full;
And work ensures a certain fullness
Unrequited love made me happy;
So perhaps, I’m a mere masochist
Love before, now work as punishment
Though in dire need of a pacifist.
Why am I estranged to this darkness?
Maybe I’ve been away for too long,
But shouldn’t home always feel home?
Why am I in dire need to belong?
As if this soul is deprived of life
As if this body is in swift decay
As if this mind screams for peace
As if this heart calls to be lured ‘way
Unwise, to have brought the goddess,
When she is of a different realm
Unfortunate, to have fallen in love,
As she leaves to retain her helm
Perhaps, this home lies deep within
For everything is, but mere illusion
Hence, I’ll reside her in my heart;
To feel her, even in seclusion.
It doesn’t matter if we couldn’t be one
Easy for you to suggest separate ways
I’ll live for as many glimpses of you
To figure you out; a peculiar maze
Doomed am I to have made you a habit
And ignite the asleep flames of my soul
Love is indulged by practice, not presence
So with all my heart, I’ll recall and extol
I’ve never cherished someone this much
Knowing, however, you cannot be mine
Perhaps, this is the highest form of love
Unrequited, forlorn, and unentwined.
The day I wrote all my confessions to her
I knew she was it, the love of my odd life
There is a certain elegance to herself
In order to contain her in words, I strife
It’s only her smile that can overwhelm me
I’m moved every time she gazes up at me
It’s hard to fathom how I could love again
Even when universe keeps depriving me
They say a mortal can only take enough
But the soul loves, and isn’t soul eternal?
I dearly wish she loses to me her heart
So that my win at love can be immortal.
Old friend, I am writing to you again
The infamous tale of squandered love
To have my denial broken by myself
To have accepted past for my behove
To have grown into a man of honor
To have embraced the code of chivalry
To have been reborn as a bird of myth
To have caught lies in nightly reverie
Lost myself in this chronic transition
I regret the love wasted, in-between
Who knew life can just be happy or full
If only the great men ere had foreseen
As humbled as I have become due this
I’m failing to see the point of these rhymes
So old friend, do tell me what is better
Death, endured once or a zillion times?