Whenever I think of letting you go
The compelled universe sends a sign
As if I’m destined to wait forever
And my feelings are meant to stay entwined
What agenda does this universe have?
What game is it I am oblivious to?
For you have vowed to alienate yourself
From all desire and passion – a coup
Much enervating is this mere practice
Yet it breathes more life into this carcass
This conflict bears a striking resemblance
To a time of suffering and sheer darkness
But I know, I would have it all with you
And it’s too much risk for the universe
As this would mean it has lost its lover
And so it controls this unending curse
This is then my only presumed purpose
To carry on, with the unrequited
And I will take much pride in this one day
When I own flames, in you, reignited
I shall speak of what has still stayed unsaid
The very phenomenon termed as pain
It’s as intense and addictive as love
Hence, able enough to drive one insane
It can be the beginning of wisdom
And it can just be its only restraint
And I am old friends with this pain
For it’s purged my soul from worldly taint
Who knew even pain can be propitious
That it can lead to inner demons’ wane
True that it’s the apex and the nadir;
It either saves a soul or is its bane
This is for the first one that got away
This is about that unfortunate love
The one I loved greater than anything
‘Round whom once my entire world revolved
The thief who stole my sleep in the night
The only subject of my thoughts in day
The broken, whom I had so wished to save
Whose soul had to be rescued from awry
And I loved you without a condition
As chaotic as real love should be
But in the end, I had to let you go
As it was needed for your recovery
Leaving can also be an act of love
As this sad tragedy of us has shown
And today, you belong to someone else
A place better than you’ve ever known
I write, in the name of my beloved
The one who I found on an open knoll
Whose attention caused dire consequences
Reigniting asleep flames of my soul
I speak of what saves, yet has destroyed me
I speak of my unparalleled devotion
I speak of the sole purpose of this life
I speak of a misunderstood notion
I have much recognized your decision
And hold it in deference to my rue
You pursue the unrequited for one
And I pursue the unrequited for you
Lest you become weary along the way
Just know that I will forever seek you
So I make a promise to be your home;
Vow, to which I shall ever remain true
Ever since I became a proponent,
I have but lost my only argument
There is something new I now long for
A desire, however, impertinent
To ask you, if my efforts weren’t enough?
Or was my love overwhelming for you?
Or was I erroneous to stare with my soul?
Or was it darkness I bore that scared you?
But the answers to these will be futile
As I’d have to forget you, regardless
I’ve adjourned a case in your name ere
And I close another to end this mess
My love for you enriches day by day
It is but a truth of this life, and thus;
Sadly, we love the people the most,
Especially when they do not want us
Why does the inner-self feel sated?
Why is there no void anymore?
The ambivalence is untangled,
I have no time for love anymore
The work has won all my attention
Even when it costs me happiness
Life can either be happy or full;
And work ensures a certain fullness
Unrequited love made me happy;
So perhaps, I’m a mere masochist
Love before, now work as punishment
Though in dire need of a pacifist.
Why am I estranged to this darkness?
Maybe I’ve been away for too long,
But shouldn’t home always feel home?
Why am I in dire need to belong?
As if this soul is deprived of life
As if this body is in swift decay
As if this mind screams for peace
As if this heart calls to be lured ‘way
Unwise, to have brought the goddess,
When she is of a different realm
Unfortunate, to have fallen in love,
As she leaves to retain her helm
Perhaps, this home lies deep within
For everything is, but mere illusion
Hence, I’ll reside her in my heart;
To feel her, even in seclusion.